I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i came on her dog
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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