I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
