I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
