Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
