also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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