New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
