If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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