I want to stick my p in your. b.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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