this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
