Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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