roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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