I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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