Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize