I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
