Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
