And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
