brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
wanna go halves on a baby?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
