i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
