She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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