You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
