Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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