I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
