You're so nebulous sometimes
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
