Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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