Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
