apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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