Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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