I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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