i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
