last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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