Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im holly from the hills drunk
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
