Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
