hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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