you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize