You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
