Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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