I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
