Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
