I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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