The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
