Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
