You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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