I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
