thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
