M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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