You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
