Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
