So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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