But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
