Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
