I seem to have left my pride at pride
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
