he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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