do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
