I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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