All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
