oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
