Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
