Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
People in love make me want to vomit
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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