Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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