I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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