So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
