could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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