I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize